Jakartass Home thoughts from abroad. Alien thoughts from home.

That's the salutation that Indonesian Muslims are tweeting to all and sundry this Ramadhan, the fasting month. Roughly translated, it means "Sorry for my misdeeds since the last time I said this, and apologies for what I may do to you before I ought to say it again."

In a few days, Jakarta will start emptying as a few million perform mudik – return to their home villages.

It has already started.

Central Java Police chief Insp. Gen. Edward Aritonang has given the following rough estimate of the number of travelers who would pass through Central Java during Idul Fitri this year.

He said that there would be 5,189,153, an 5.8 percent increase over last year’s total of 4,807,482. The exodus is expected to peak two days before Idul Fitri starts on Sep. 10.

“Travelers using motorcycles still dominate the roads, with 1,969,821 people, those using private cars are estimated (sic) at 1,815,878 people, and 1,963,067 will use buses,” said Edward, adding that 257,631 people in Central Java were expected to travel by train, 45,350 by plane and 18,576 by sea.

Ministry official Hendri Subiyakto said Sunday that for every porn site blocked, new sites with different names and different URLs were created. He added that the government was respecting Muslims who were fasting by taking such steps.

Given that the fasting month is supposed to encourage tolerance, respect and forbearance, it seems to me that it would be worth chronicling a few snippets I've come across.

1. This short article was sent to me by frequent reader Ultra Tupai and comes from Berita Jakarta.com.

Mass Fight in Kramat Pulo

Instead of taking advantage of Ramadan for religious activities to strengthen belief in God, residents of Kramatpulo Dalam II, Senen, Central Jakarta fight against each other. It happened on Tuesday (8/31) midnight. Until now, the cause of chaos has not been known yet. Such a chaos has happened for times.

The fight between residents of RW 08 and RW 05 happened on Jl Kramat Raya Pulo Dalam III. In that incident, a mother was hit by rock and had to be taken to hospital.

Head of Central Jakarta Police Precinct, Police Commissioner Budi Sartono, stated that the incident have been investigated by his personnel.

"So far we cannot make conclusion about the incident," said Budi through his mobile phone.

2. Gov. Fuddy Bozo puts his foot in it.

In a efforts to control the seasonal influx of newcomers to the capital, Jakarta Governor Fauzi Bowo recently urged the public not to bring friends or relatives back with them after the Idul Fitri exodus.

“In Tambora there are so many people that you trip over children when you walk,” Fauzi said as quoted by beritajakarta.com at a fast-breaking event in the district last week.

3. And now some good news for good people .

Giving zazat (alms) is an obligation for Muslims at this time of the year. Many of us, Buddhists, Confucians, Christians and Atheists alike, who do not follow a set prayer schedule also contribute according to our circumstances.

Today, the Buddhists were rewarded by the Central Jakarta District Court who ordered a closure of Buddha Bar and demanded bar management PT Nireta Vista Creative, Jakarta Tourism Agency and Jakarta governor to pay Rp 1 billion in compensation to Buddhist community. The protests against innapropriate use of a religious icon to name an entertainment place that sells liquor began in 2009.

I wrote about the issue here and here and here.

4. That the Minister for Communication, Informations and Technology deserves the soubriquet Twittering Simplefool is clearly indicated in this article about the efforts of his ministry to block websites they deem to be pornographic.

Ministry official Hendri Subiyakto said Sunday that for every porn site blocked, new sites with different names and different URLs were created. He added that the government was respecting Muslims who were fasting by taking such steps.

What has caught my eye more, however, is a column by Debnath Guharoy of Roy Morgan Research who gives some statistics about handphones and the internet.

• There are some 90 million unique subscribers, "human beings 14 years of age and older", to "the cellular world of constant connectivity" (i.e. mobile Phones) across the country.

The distinction between a human being and an “active” SIM card warrants repetition. Considering that there are some 160 million Indonesians who are 14+, there is still a long way to go. Of the 11 million entrants in the April-June quarter, 7 million are kampung dwellers. Nationwide, they comprise almost half the cellular population today, more than half of the millions intending to join the community tomorrow.

• The number of regular users of the web via computers exceed more than 8 million people 14 years and older. But that number is dwarfed by the number of users accessing it via their mobile phones, primarily for social networking. Facebook alone claim over 18 million Indonesian users.

There the good news ends.

The high cost of downloading data at slow speeds remains a deterent, regardless of the mode of access to the internet. Applications such as mobile banking are becoming more popular, but remains in the hands of a tiny fraction of society. Bigger screens, higher speeds and lower costs are all essential to e-commerce spreading beyond airline reservations in Indonesia.

In terms of average speed, Indonesia doesn’t make it to the Top 100 countries, far from it in fact. Though harder to prove, costs on the other hand are among the highest in the world.

Against that backdrop, the US$110 million spent by the telecommunications minister on anti-pornography filters is difficult to fathom.

In my view, it's the "bigger screens" which are the key to the Simplefool's idiocy. Although mobile phones may offer speedy access to porno sites, can anyone really get turned on by watching sexual cavorting on mini-screens? Give me a wide screen any time.

So the reported "US$110 million" has been spent to stop less than 9 million of us accessing the sites his ministry can't block; that's c.$13.75 per computer.

Trouble is, I still can't get broadband in Jakartass Towers, my dongles never receive signals and there isn't a fibre-optic cable network nearer than 500 metres. And I'm not going to bother using my 2kbs dial up connection for solitary satisfaction.

So, with these comforting words taken from the b3ta weekly newsletter let me close by telling you that my internet connection was so slow yesterday I ended up just shagging the wife.

I think I'm owed an apology, Minister.
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5. This is a late addendum, but it's so ridiculous that it must be included.

An obscure group led by an academic from a respected Islamic university in Indonesia is reportedly set to petition the Constitutional Court to declare that the (Buddhist) Borobudur Temple in Central Java belongs to Islam.

Read the full article for the convoluted and cockeyed reasoning.