Jakartass Home thoughts from abroad. Alien thoughts from home.

It seems that my short-term memory capacity is going because I don’t recall such lengthy shutdowns at the start of previous Muslim fasting months. Our Kid has ‘lost’ the first three days of schooling at his ecumenical institute and a Catholic school I know of in West Jakarta shut for two days.

On this first day of fasting, a beautiful sunny day, nothing much stirs outside Jakartass Towers – Allah, God, Mammon, whatever, be praised. The builders aren’t banging away next door, a cyclist drifts by, oh look, two pedestrians quietly stroll by, but no cars, and even fewer motorcycles. Whats also pleasant is that the controllers of the sound systems in local mosques seemed to have turned down the volume to a mere setting of 11.

So thoughts can turn inward, or in my case, to some more WTFs which make living here so fascinating.

First some good news. The Simpering Twitterfool, our Minister of Information and Miscommunication, has finally agreed that there’s no way that Indonesia’s ISPs can block all porn sites for Ramadhan.

“A 100 percent ban is impossible, but it’s the effort that counts,” he said on Tuesday.

The bad news is that his recourse is to get his underlings to create a list of search words which can then be added to the porn filters which all 200 ISPs are supposed to have.

“The filtering will be based on keywords, not the websites,” he said, adding that the keyword list would be updated regularly to accommodate new keywords associated with porn websites.

That this effort will also block access to sites which have no connection to material which he deems to be ‘pornographic’ will almost inevitably lead to further problems for him

Try these “keywords” first, guys: sex / penis / vagina / penetration / head.

Need I go on?

Yes, of course I do.

I give you ‘cock’ (a male bird), ‘tit’ (a species of bird) and ‘gay’ (joyous and light-hearted). Feel free to add further double-entendres in the comments box.

But enough of this frivolity.

After all, this is the one time of the year when we’re all supposed to be on our best behaviour, to refrain from mockery and other indulgences.

It is a shame, though, that little effort is made to be good during the rest of the year.

Take the anarchic conditions on the road. This past week, I spotted a hoarding which showed a pedestrian crossing behind which were a couple of cars and a motorcycle or two waiting neatly for a family, mother and a couple of children, to cross the road. The message was simple: Share The Road.

Nice, I thought, whilst wondering how many of the drivers in the traffic whizzing by could read English. But then I got to wondering on which parking lot the photo shoot had taken place. Where was the rest of the traffic? Why were no motorcyclists making use of the empty sidewalk? But hey, if you ignore the wastage of the weak, fat frogs grow from tiny tadpoles. So this must have been the start of a road courtesy campaign.

And it is.

Last Saturday a road safety workshop was lead by a team of racing drivers who advised motorists to train themselves to set aside negative emotions such as selfishness and rage while at the wheel even in low speed situations to ensure the safety of themselves and others.

A true Ramadhan message.

Round the corner, near the start of the Kebon Jeruk toll road, I spotted another hoarding, an advertisement for a motor oil which suggested that the product would Make Every Road A Race Track.

Not in the normal gridlocked months, but now, when the roads are emptier?

Well, actually no.

On Tuesday, Jakarta Police began a campaign of evening operations to stop illegal street races during the fasting month.

According to the police website, those caught during the operation risk the confiscation of their registration papers (STNK) and motorcycles, [which] would be returned after Ramadan.

As a Post editorial says, going by the Indonesian experience, we can be fairly sure nothing will really change once the fasting month is over. It will be like going back to normal.

Still, one month of peace and harmony is better than nothing.

And you thought that Jakartass was cynical?